:: a happy nest ::

jack.

It's been so long since I've devoted time to this space, yet in recent weeks, I've been feeling the pull to begin again. The past two years of our life have brought so many changes, and I feel as if I'm in the process of finding myself again. It feels important to be intentional about documenting this chapter we're in - this messy, beautiful, exhausting, sweet space where we currently dwell.

By far the biggest change has been the (surprise!) addition of our son Jack into our family of three. We welcomed him on September 3, and the he turned three months old yesterday. I can hardly believe it! I'm so grateful to be experiecing mothering a wee one for the second time - it has been such a different experience for me. If you know  our daughter, you would expect that she'd be a wonderful big sister, and indeed she has been. 

About midway through my pregnancy, we learned that Jack would be born with bilateral clubfoot (talipes equinovarus), which is a treatable birth defect where the feet are turned inward and down. Left untreated, walking will be difficult and painful for a child, if it is possible at all. When he was three days old, Jack started treatment using the Ponseti method for correcting clubfoot, which uses a series of casts to correct the position of the foot, a tenotomy to allow for prooper range of motion, and bracing to maintain the correction of the feet. We have made it through 5 castings, and Jack transitioned to his "boots and bar" last week. Between his treatment and trying to figure out his food allergies, it has been a busy 13 weeks! I'm hoping to write more about his treatment, including what we've learned, what has been helpful, and what we've struggled with - in preparting for Jack's birth, I was very grateful to others who shared their stories.

But for now, hello - again. It is good to be back.

the back yard garden.

This spring, we've been working hard on our back yard garden. It's my happy place right now. I've been getting a lot of questions about it, so I thought I'd offer a little photo tour.

Pictured above is the patio just outside our sunroom. John laid the patio himself, just after we moved into the house ten years ago. We've always had containers on the patio, but this year, we added an herb bed along the edge of the patio. It has added so much character to this part of our space.

In the bed & pots, we have sage, oregano, thyme, chives, lavender, chamomile, cat mint, rue, rainbow swiss chard, sungold tomatoes, dill, and sweet peppers. We also have a good mix of flowers, including mums, gooseneck loosestrife, echinacea, zinnias, poppies, and pink evening primrose. The large shrubs at the end of the patio are two of our beloved hydrangeas. To add some extra color, we also have a good number of annual flowers in pots.

Leaning against the far wall is a simple trellis I made from wood and some old fencing. There are nasturtium growing it pots that will hopefully fill up the trellis, and a few more annual flowers potted in painted upcycled coffee cans. Her small table & chairs are from Ikea. The wood bench was hand made by my father, and we've had the other table and chairs for ages (though I recently painted the chairs yellow). 

We've had a vegetable garden since we moved into the house, but last year, we built 5 new raised beds. We used to plant directly into the ground, but the weeds were fierce. The beds have really made the weeds so much easier to manage. This year, I've been diligent about weeding, and for even more weed control, I spread straw around the beds. This summer, we'll have to have a good bit of tree work done on our property, and I plan to spread the wood chips around the garden beds. 

Each year, Thea helps us with the garden, and it has been so fun to teach her new things each year. Her favorite thing is picking peas. Often, they don't even make it inside the house!

This year, we're growing spinach, swiss chard, kale, broccoli, carrots, peas, green beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries, and watermelon. We also have blackberries and raspberries growing beside the vegetable garden, along with mums, daisies, and more gooseneck loosestrife.

We eat a tremendous amount of greens, and they fill up about half of the space.  I also scored an old horse trough for a song off of craigslist, and in it are zinnias, cosmos, nasturtium, and blushing susie black-eyed susan vines.  You can see some older photos of our garden & harvests through rvanews's garden wars series from the past few years. The vegetable garden grows behind our shed in our yard's sunniest spot. We also have a simple compost pile in the same space.

This cedar play house (from Costco) was a gift to Thea on her 3rd birthday. Over the past couple years, it had really started to show some wear, so this year, we moved it, placed it on a wood platform, and I painted it in time for her 5th birthday party. She picked the colors. I'm pleased as punch that blue has now made it into her list of favorite colors. The bunting pictured above was a decoration I made for her 5th birthday party - it's made from vintage sheets and other vintage fabrics from my collection. Once it went up, we loved it so much that it has stayed!

Since giving our garden that extra bit of love this spring, it's become my favorite place to be. Thea loves being out there too - especially when our neighbors are out tending their garden. In the photo above, you catch a glimpse of our shed and the roses climbing along it's side.  We also have three peonies growing there and a sweet yellow rose bush that my mister and Thea gave me for mother's day.

My favorite times to be in the garden are early in the morning and at evening's golden hour. Isn't that light lovely?

♥ ♥ ♥

That is about half of our backyard garden. I will try to take some photos of the rest to share next week. We have three more big sunny beds on the side of the house, and of lots of good stuff growing in the front garden too. 

I hope you've enjoyed this little tour. Please let me know if I can answer any questions.

♥ ♥ ♥ 

this is how it happens.

I finished this wreath last night, and now it's happily hanging on our front door. Whenever I post pictures of a craft project, I'm often asked how I do it all. Every time I'm asked this, I have to laugh, because it often takes a monumental effort to finish anything around here {just ask my mister}.  In the spirit of this post, I thought I'd share a little of how this wreath came to be.

There were:

• 5 days of working on this 15 minutes at a time - between snacks and coloring and playdates and cleaning up + 2 nights of work between her bedtime and when I collapsed into bed
• 1 very messy table scattered with felt scraps and drips from the glue gun {remember, for 5 days}
• 1 irritated husband {see above}
• 1 sink of dirty dishes {repeat, several times} 
• 26 curse words
• 2 times throwing the whole thing into the trash can
• 52 tears {mine}
• 3 pinterest searches
• 1 {very minor} burn from the glue gun 
• 489 tears {hers} resulting from said burn
• 1 princess bandaid
• 16 encouraging words {hers}

{this is the first version of the wreath, before I gave the lace a haircut}

. . . . . . . . .

In truth, the wreath isn't my favorite. I do love the way the flowers came out, but that's about it. And you know what, I'm going with it, imperfections and all. Because it's good enough. And we made it together. And that's the most important thing of all.

. . . . . . . . .

{and on a more serious note, I've been asked for a tutorial for these flowers. I have a few more flowers to make, and I'll post my process as soon as I can}

the river.

I grew up spending weekends at the river. I remember us packing up every Friday night: piling into our van, and heading to Deltaville to stay until Sunday afternoon. My brother and I each had our own seat and a sleeping bag, and I would no doubt fall asleep on the way. Often, I would wake up briefly as our van bounced across the old bridge into West Point, and I'd know that we were almost there. 

We spent the weekends swimming, crabbing, fishing, exploring the creek in the dinghy, and taking rides on the boat. Far away from the city lights, I remember the wonder of seeing the stars shining so brightly in the night sky.

I am so grateful for my parents giving me that experience, and that my grandfather, who worked so incredibly hard, still makes his home there, allowing us to share this joy with Thea.

It has been a few years since we've been able to go and stay - and really experience a river weekend. {Thea has always been such a poor sleeper that it really made it impossible for us to go for an overnight visit and enjoy ourselves}. But a couple weeks ago, we gave it another try.

I had almost forgotten the glorious sunsets & the golden light of magic hour, making everything all glowy and warm; the joy of evening walks and swimming just before the sun goes down; the quiet stillness of morning when the sun appears over the water; and how good it feels to float in the warm water for hours on end.

I think she loves the river as much as I do.

We were up early to see the sun rise {truthfully, that was not by choice, but the magic of seeing the sun emerge - and a strong cup of tea - helped me almost forget how tired I was}. 

We spent our days exploring the beach, looking for treasures, and swimming. Miraculously, there were still no jellyfish.

There were bathing suits on the line, popsicles in the swing, puzzles on the porch, naps on the hammock, and outdoor showers.

And sparklers too! 

We came home exhausted, but happy. And we'll be back in just a few short weeks for a long weekend with my brother & his family, including Thea's much-adored cousins.

thank you, river. thank you, summer.

{you couldn't be sweeter}

here and now.

The past few weeks have been so full, I've barely had a quiet moment to just sit and breathe. Here are a few {verbal} snapshots of what's been keeping me occupied :

I was in a minor car accident that ended up causing a good bit of neck pain.

I have begun the process of { s l o w l y } weaning off of my medication for anxiety and depression. This has brought a number of side effects ranging from annoying to concerning.

My 89-year-old grandfather had a week-long hospital stay {he is home now, and doing so much better}.

My mother was admitted to and is still in the hospital, though we are hoping she will be settled in at home to heal within the next couple of days. 

And...my debit card number was stolen.

My goodness.

::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  ::  

There have been so many good things happening too - filling my heart with joy and gratitude. My hands have been busy, mostly as a way to keep me grounded in the present moment and to work through my nervous energy. Perhaps in the next week, I'll have a few moments to share about those things, but for now, every spare moment is being spent tending to those I love, or resting.

Be well friends!

good words.

the artwork above was created by my dear friend Suzanne. her work is breathtaking. you can see more of it on her blog or in her etsy shop.

Today is my wee girl's last day of preschool. As we prepare to settle into our summer rhythm, I've been reflecting on the thoughts I shared here. I've found comfort and wisdom in the the words of a few other mamas. I thought I'd share a few links to what I've been reading:

chuck your to-do list by Meg at Sew Liberated.

how to miss a childhood by Rachel at Hands Free Mama.

on stay-at-home-mom and positivity by Megan at Me and Wee

finding JOY by Erin Ellenberger March

one of my favorite poems Song for a Fifth Child - by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

this amazing video by Julia Warr

and I've been re-reading Momma Zen and Hand Wash Cold by Karen Maezen Miller

But I'd love to know: are there words that inspire you and help you find your center? Please do share!

Happy Wednesday, friends!

stitching together.

One of my favorite things to do - especially at the end of the day - is to busy my hands with an embroidery project. There is something magical about the slow(er) pace of hand sewing: feeling the fabric and thread in my hands, the work of the needle, and seeing the project slowly come to life. 

Since I'm often with a project in hand - Thea has been asking me to teach her to sew. We have fiddled a bit with stitching before, but she seemed to become frustrated that her projects didn't look very much like mine. With mixed results, we tried free stitching, as well as me tracing a shape for her to work on. 

Yet she was determined that she wanted to sew something for her grandmothers' mothers' day presents. The projects turned out beautifully (our gift for her Omie is pictured above) - so I thought I'd share a bit about how we did it.

To start, you'll need some basic materials: fabric; a marker, pencil, or something to create your pattern; and a template to trace (if, like me, freehand drawing is not a strength).

You'll also need an embroidery hoop (I find plastic ones to be sturdier & easier for little hands to work with) and large child-safe needles (the ones pictured are plastic). And of course, thread (not pictured). We usually use regular cotton embroidery thread, all six strands. I find that using a length no more than 18 inches is easiest: it helps prevent thread tangling and wear - and is easier for small hands to pull stitches tight.

Burlap is one of my favorite fabrics for stitching with my wee girl - it's thick weave nicely accomodates the large needles we use, and I do like the look of it. I was lucky to score a huge amount of burlap at the thrift store for just a few dollars - and it has lasted me for several years.

Use your marker to create your pattern using dotted lines. The dots serve as stitch guides. Using dotted lines finally allowed my sweet girl (4 years) to create the pattern she wanted. 

I used a thick mark-b-gone pen, which made for large, visible dots that also bled through to the back of the fabric. 

This was helpful so that my girl could turn the hoop over and see where to make her next stitch.

The ink from this marker fades away when sprayed with water, leaving only your pretty stitches. I do love these pens, but I have had mixed results with burlap.

I have found that on burlap, the ink does not disappear, but instead migrates to the edges of the fabric. With that said, I will still use it for projects with my girl, but I will be sure to factor that into my cutting of the fabric

Be sure to start with a large enough piece of fabric, stitch, and then spray. Once the fabric has dried and the ink migration is complete, you can cut out any additional pattern (I traced a circle using a regular pencil).

To create the template for the word "love" in the middle of the heart, I printed out the words in a size and font that I like. I then positioned it where I wanted it on the back of the fabric, using tape to secure. Then I taped the fabric to a window and traced the letters.

The photo above is the finished gift for her Mema. Thea helped picked the fabric, thread colors, and buttons, and, after she had stitched the hearts (all by herself!) I stitched the remaining elements together.

She is so proud of her work! And I am so proud of her.

tending.

In this early spring {did we really even have a winter?}, I've been even more amazed than usual by nature's simple miracles: seeds rising from the soil - flower buds bursting open - baby birds emerging from tiny beautiful blue eggs enjoying ripe berries straight from the tree - the sweet smell of honeysuckle filling the air. There is wonder all around us, in every moment, if only we can slow down to observe. And this year, it all feels full of so much promise. 

But in the midst of all of this growth and awe, I'm feeling even more aware of the fragility of it all, and of how little control we really have - over anything. There is only this moment after all. That too is wonder inspiring, in its own way.

During one of my morning lazy strolls through the garden, hot cup of tea in hand, I paused to take in the enormous growth and beauty of the two hydrangeas just outside my studio window. They are quite happy in their home, and have really flourished in the past year or two. They were planted five years ago; originally we planted four - one for each of our losses. While it was a novice gardening mistake - there simply was not room for four of these plants to thrive in the space - it saddened me quite a bit to know that only two had made it. Yet, in the next moment, I realized that all is well. What remains is alive and thriving. We carry on with what we do have and we make our way with that. The two remaining plants offer so much beauty and joy. It is what is here now, and it is enough.

This spring has been full with these moments of profound awareness of the life cycle we exist within & the soul work of reconciling it for myself: once again reexamining what - for me - makes for a meaningful life. Perhaps because of this acute awareness, I've been feeling generally overwhelmed with things and busyness that seem to fill up life - while my soul craves slowness, intimate connections, and the work of my hands. 

To find clarity and my own truth, I've been slowing down: embracing necessary self-care, reading, breaking up earth to make room for new growth, planting seeds, watering, deadheading the flowers, enjoying quiety moments at the cutting table, and stitching, stitching, stitching at the end of the day.

This work of tending is healing, connecting me to the here and now, nourishing my spirit. It helps remind me that I want to nurture and be intentional in my connections and relationships with those I love, how these bonds must be tended too. To me, connection with my fellow humankind seems to be the most meaningful part of life: loving, supporting, witnessing those around us.

Yet, I really struggle with how to connect in this electronic age. At times, I feel like I'll be swallowed up by all of the things that require my attention: text messages, phone calls, email, facebook, instagram, flickr, message boards, blogs, and on and on. There are so many opportunities for connection, {and so many peole I want to connect with} - yet it isn't possible - at least for me - to engage in all of them in a meaningful way. Right now, I'm working on figuring it out for myself.

So, do tell me {please}: How do you slow things down for soul work in the midst of a busy, full life? How do you find balance and prioritize what will fill your precious time? How do you nurture your connections with loved ones in this electronic age?

four.

Four years ago today was possibly the most joyful - and the most terrifying - day of my life.

How has it been four years?

For years of joy, wonder, learning, and love. 

Happy birthday, baby. I'm so grateful to know you. I'm so proud to be your mama. 

I love you more than the moon,

more than the stars,

more than the fireflies lighting up jars.

barn bash.

This weekend, we ventured to the Starlight Meadow, just outside Burlington, NC. We went to attend the inaugural Barn Bash, benefiting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

My sister-in-law and a couple of her lifelong friends organized the event in honor of her daughter - my niece - Caroline, who has cystic fibrosis (click on the link in Caroline's name to read about the day to day management of cysitic fibrosis - though Caroline now has a vest to administer her chest physical therapy). 

It is so important for the CFF to receive donations because the CFF receives no federal dollars for research or development of a cure. $.90 of every dollar donated to the CFF goes to REASEARCH to develop therapies that help manage CF and hopefully will one day cure CF entirely. 

The inaugural barn bash was so much fun, I can hardly wait until next year. There were about 85 people in attendance this weekend, and we're hoping this event will grow each year. It was a good old-fashioned good time, with the added (and most important!) benefit of raising money to save my niece's life.

The setting was just perfect - a gorgeous meadow filled with buttercups, a charming barn, and a sweet little gazebo just down the hill. And the weather could not have been better. 

There was live music - bluegrass and funk,

dancing,

and great food. And cake!

There were tons of activities for the kids:

a waterballoon toss,

sack races,

and my brother (Caroline's father) had the idea to make kites and flags from sticks we found and fabric strips I had brought for the kids to use to make bracelets.

The best part of the evening was seeing Thea with her cousins.

Since Caroline has cystic fibrosis, it is especially important that she not be exposed to any germs or illnesses. Unfortunately, over the past year, someone in our family has been sick every time we've had a visit scheduled.

But these three connected just like no time had passed. Thea and Caroline spent a good part of the evening hand in hand.

I hope these two have lots of tomorrows. Every moment is precious.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I hope your weekend was filled with a little bit of magic too.